A new journey...

[amandarose]

I think after my old journey which was... well its too hard to explain at the moment but is explained in my old post but we'll just say that I'm alot more awakened than I was!!!

Anyway now I've realised what my new journey is... because now I'm even more desireable than I was I've had too many serious guys, which is kinda the oppisite to what I've been used to so theres a real test there in itself... I'm deffinatly not sure how I'm going to handle this test obviously because its only the start... not the end!! I guess just like any major test it will take alot of time and progress slowly... Its a bit weird the unknown but also kinda exciting!! I think that most of all I'm worried of hurting people, but everything happens for a reason anyway!! Maybe the main part of this test will be to take things very slowly!!!

Here goes nothing, I'm in the river and I just gotta float around and see where it takes me!!

[Pony]

Hi Amandarose,

it makes me wonder if you are explaining about close relationships?

I'm in a process myself, just now. It doesn't seem as though this particular change has finished it's cycle or come to completion. Yet I feel that I wish to share something with you. Forgive me if it is irrelevant.

So, I guess that I have been in physical relationships with men for almost 25 years. Given birth to 5 children. 3 'marriages' and 'divorces'.

Now living a single life with men coming into my life whom I feel deep love for, yet, I do not wish to share my body, or my 'creative life force energy' with them.

My 'bliss' penetrates my whole body, completely saturated with it, when I am being with my self. I hope this is making sense.

When I am with another, whether plant, animal, person, it feels wonderful, to be fully present to them. Flowing. This happens frequently in those quiet times.

I have had many lovers and I have loved each one intensley. I wouldn't change a thing. Now, it seems, I am my own lover at this time, I am learning how to love my self again.

I wish you well on your unique voyage of discovery.

Much love to you, Amandarose.